Jenifer VS. Jennifer

I'm SO tired of hearing how inventive Diablo Cody is. Really. It wasn't bad enough when she won awards for putting out practically the one-millionth teen pregnancy movie, but then she handed us her bomb, "Jennifer's Body". Not only was it lame, but it proved, to me at least, how UN-inventive Diablo is. In my eyes, she totally ripped from the B-movie put out by the Masters of Horror crew, "Jenifer".
Let's compare: In 2005, Dario Argento released a very frightening movie called "Jenifer", about a young, disfigured woman (Carrie Fleming) with an insanely hot body, who seduces men (at the end of the movie, your left with the idea that this happens A LOT) and who goes around getting people lured to her so she can eat them. The physically frightening succubus ends in this film by getting away with her wrong-doings and finding herself with another man to chomp on. In 2009, Diablo Cody casts the maturity-disabled, hot-bodied Megan Fox as the ultimate seductress, also named Jennifer(oh, so creative. Look, she added an "n"). In her movie, the audience is at least given the back story that she used to be a normal teenager who was turned into the succubus by a nerdy emo-ish band (arf?) who try to sacrafice her ... to... Satan...? (Really?) She then goes on an eating binge, taking out all of the stupid, nerdy boys at her school who, of course, aren't looking at those amazing dentures.

Both movies hold the same premise: evil succubus that must be stopped. They both have the same character-types: hot chick (in "Jenifer" there is a dream sequence where we see what Jenifer would look like if she weren't disfigured and, yup, she's a babe), and the underestimated person who is both seduced by the succubus but also realizes she must be stopped. Interesting scenes of sexuality and gore are, obviously, a must for both films. Hell, both of the title characters are named Jen(n)ifer!

I feel like "Jenifer" played more on the superficiality (and futility) of men, since we are dealing with a very disfigured woman who is still the object of desire, whereas "Jennifer's Body" had... well... Megan Fox.

Long story short, just because she used to be a stripper, it doesn't mean that Diablo has any sort of individuality... or taste... or so-called amazing ability to write dialogue.

Right Brain, Left Brain

Take this test for me. Go on, I dare you.

I used to imagine that I was a right-brained person simply because I was always the creative English major who thought outside the box for everything: cooking, writing, homework, etc. According to this, I am totally right-brained since I had no problem saying the actual colors (except trying to tell the difference between the purple and blue since they both look blue to me).

However, I kind of see it either way. I think I have left-brain tendencies, like when I'm cleaning, or working on homework for specific classes. It keeps me balanced, and that's the one thing people need to focus on rather than trying to prove they're more analytical or more creative: you need a proper balance. That doesn't mean the test isn't fun, though.

My Favorite (and Most Missed) Piece of Architecture

I don't always like to admit it, but I'll say it here: I was born and raised in Las Vegas, Nevada. Please stop right now before you even start with the "Ohh's" and "Ahh's". No, I'm not a party animal, I don't know where all the good drug places are and I was NOT a stripper. It's not glamorous, it's not fun and, really, I don't miss it at all. Moving 3,000 miles away is probably the smartest thing I've done in my life.
Now that I've gotten that all off of my chest, I have another thing to admit: I ADORE the Venitian Hotel. My father started working at the hotel before it was even finished being built. As a slot technician, he was brought in to help design the layout of the casino area. I never cared about the casino area; once you've seen one cheesey carpet layout, you've seen them all. What always left me enchanted was the hotel section of the building. I know it's all fake, but the Gothic-style arches and hallways, gold inlays, cherubs and elaborate columns always take my breath away when I go out for a visit.
I think what always got to my was the indoors river that flows around the hotel. Unlike the real Venice, they've spared their guests the rank odor of dead fish. Instead, just beautiful pure, blue water, which perfectly compliments the light peach color of the interior. It adds to the romantic aesthetic of the rest of the hotel.
I rarely go anywhere near the Strip when I visit home, but if I do, this building is the only place where I ever find myself.

DANCE!!!

I have no rhythm. I would never be caught dead out at a nightclub, nor could I just randomly get out on a dance floor at a party. At my own wedding, I took more time walking around and talking with family and friends, not just because I loved hanging out with them, but because I refused to attempt something in 4 inch heels that I can't even do barefoot.

I know I can't dance, and the above should be proof enough that I know better than to try. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy watching others dance. Yes, it can be humorous watching others with my problem embarrass themselves, but mostly, I appreciate the art of dance.



Dance has undergone tons of changes. It has evolved from a form of ritual to a favorite past time. What I enjoy so much about dance is, if done right (not by me!) the fluidity and grace incorporated can seem almost hypnotic. Even new wave dances, street dances, break dances, whatever, there's just something appealing in witnessing the human body becoming a moving sculpture.

This Music Video is a True Work of Art

Not many people are unfamiliar with Peter Gabriel's song "Sledgehammer". It was very popular back in the 80's, and I'm sure that children with parents like mine can sing along whenever it comes on the radio. Yet, at the same time, what kind of parents did we have when they happily let their children listen to a song that was one big sexual inuendo? The best part about this song isn't the humorous thought that my folks thought I had no idea what I was listening to; it's the music video.

The video gives an eighties twist to Ray Harryhausen-esque affects. Gabriel had to lay under glass for 16 grueling hours while posing meticulously for each frame to make it look like he is singing for the few moments you actually see him in the video. If you take the song literally, then it's cute how he's just using the physical manifestations of his lyrics. But how can you not know its connotation when the video starts out with little spermies floating around?!



That's what really makes this video artistic, though. Not the fact that it's just interesting (and hilarious), but it's able to adapt the lyrics of a song to a visual medium in an innovative way. All before CGI came along and ruined the beauty of hand-made special effects.

My parents have no idea what they've done to me.

My Favorite (Makeup) Artist

Inspired by Man of a Thousand Faces, the biographical film about Lon Chaney, Tom Savini has got to be one of the greatest makeup artists around.


Getting has start with the 1974 film Deranged, a, well, deranged, flick based on Ed Gein, Savini really set the mark for makeup and gore in horror and thriller films. It wasn't until 1977 when he would finally get his breakthrough moment. George Romero (also a God), asked him to do the makeup effects for his movie Martin and the wrist-slashing scene was so realistically fantastic (yes, I really said that), that he became a hit on Hollywood mainstream. He expanded his gore regime to include bite-marks, flesh-tearing, a machetti-to-the-head scene and the infamous red-orange blood in Dawn of the Dead. Since then, he's worked on tons of movies, horrors and thrillers, great and, well, not-so-great. He has directed, acted and even performed as a stunt man (even for women) for many of the films he's done the effects for. He even did the makeup effects for Twisted Sisters music video "Be Chrool to your Scuel", which includes some of my favorites like the zombie-student tearing at the lips of the human he's "kissing" and another zombie-student walking around chewing on a limb. He now runs the special effects and makeup programs at the Douglas Education center up in Pennsylvania (where he was born and raised).


Tom Savini wrote many books, among them Grande Illusions: A Learn-By-Example Guide to the Art and Technique of Special Make-Up Effects from the Films of Tom Savini, a book that my dad bought when it first came out in the 1980's. At four years-old, I was allowed to glance through the book, like most four year-old girls looked at picture books of ponies and bunnies. A few years later, when my reading skills had strengthened, I read through the entire thing, learning how he created such great effects, and how horribly disappointed he was with the hue of the blood for his first zombie film (I forgive you, Tom!). With such knowledge on hand, I was able to watch some of my now favorite movies at a very young age (what five year-old girl enjoys movies like The Thing or The Howling?) and watch them objectively rather get scared and run into hiding. Thanks to him, my love for movies flurished into something it may not have been if I had missed out on those family classics. For that and more, he is my favorite artist.

Most Recent Piece of Cinematic Art

Why so serious?

Heath Ledger's scratchy voice still haunts me. In the best way possible, of course.

I've been a Batman kid for as long as I can remember. I had my own personal copy of the 1989 version starring Michael Keaton at the tender age of three, and my love has not wavered since. That being said, I think this gives me the right to admit that Val Kilmer's Batman was the lamest of all. And don't even get me started on Batman and Robin. The only thing I can say there is: There were nipples on the Batsuit. Really? Really?!

My heart remained broken for the near decade that my Caped Crusader was too ashamed to show his face on the big screen. It took a genius named Christopher Nolan to put Batman right back where he belongs.

I've got to give Nolan props: Batman Begins was something I felt the movies had been lacking since Tim Burton had his grubby little paws in the mix: that almost Gothic feeling that makes Batman really scary. What I think most fans forget is that Batman as a comic character was never the funny, goofy character that nearly murdered him in the George Clooney rendition. Nolan opens us back up to the Dark Knight as that person everyone should fear, not just for the costume, but the fact that he's just a regular guy (plus millions) with a huge chip on his shoulder. And that voice that Christian Bale uses? CHILLS!

Even for as awesome as Batman Begins turned out to be, it paled in comparison to The Dark Knight. I'll admit, I was moderately upset when I found out that Heath Ledger was attempting to take on Jack Nicholson's character. The entire time, I couldn't help wonder, "Does this kid really think he can do that role justice?" Damn, someone should have smacked me in the face. Cillian Murphy's Scarecrow has nothing on the Ledger's revamped Joker.

Bale and Ledger were absolutely brilliant together. They played off of the negative energy projected by each character flawlessly. At the end of the film, the audience is left with the perfect feeling of, "Who am I really rooting for: the anarchist (Ledger) or the physical manifestation of the omnipresent policing gaze (Bale)?"

Action packed (without the overload of CGI), amazing actors (thank GOD Maggie took the place of Katie Holmes), dialogue to die for and a great director who couldn't have portrayed my comic-book crush in a better light. Or should I say, lack-of-light?